#roy IS a decent cook!

[thetarttfuldickhead]

I’m exceedingly fond of the notion that Roy is just randomly* a really good cook, but consider: Roy is merely a mostly passable cook, taking an interest and picking up some stuff only now that his footballer diet days are nearing their end. He thinks he’s a great cook because he was fucking serious about said footballer diet and consequently has these sad little low standards and doesn’t really know much about properly decent food. (In this world, Hus’ kebabs are pretty nasty, actually.)

More importantly, non-cooking weirdos Jamie and Keeley also think he’s a great cook, the second bloody coming of Heston bloody Blumenthal, and they keep telling him (and everyone else) that, in all sincerity. The three of them live in a very happy delusion of Roy’s culinary prowess.

Maybe some time down the road they, flying high on hubris, invite others for dinner, and those others – if they have any semblance of developed taste buds – find themselves caught in the gastronomic Twilight Zone of Jamie and Keeley praising to high heaven the blandest food imaginable, while Roy beams in slightly shy pride.

Some guests (Sam) appreciates the effort and homecooked meal. Some guests (Richard) do not. Some guests (Jan) gets accidentally gagged with spinach by other guests (Isaac and Colin) before they can comment on the food.

(*I mean, I don’t believe that Roy Kent is just randomly good at anything; he’s a great cook because he put the hours in and worked fucking hard at it.)

[varpusvaras]

Roy: Okay, I have been increasingly explicitly flirting with you, and I can't tell if it's working or not. If you don't like it, just say so, I will stop

Jason, completely beet red under his helmet: No, it's not that I don't like it. I just have no idea what to say in return without wanting to jump off a roof afterwards

[tossawary]

At the end of "Fullmetal Alchemist", Ed Elric quits the military, has given up his ability to "play god", and is (as he has been since he burned his fucking house down as a tweenager) homeless, disabled, and crashing at the Rockbell place to help his very sick brother recover.

And it's easy and funny to imagine Edward Elric essentially becoming the house husband of successful and innovative automail mechanic Winry Rockbell (and later a stay-at-home dad). Small family businesses are pretty much always a mess of needing an extra hand just to answer phones and the mail, to schedule appointments, to deliver and pick up parts, to organize stock, to "just hold this for a second for me", and so on. Pinako is not getting any younger and could use someone to cook dinner and fix the roof while she rests her back!!! Winry is busy!!!

There is also always a lot to do in a rural community, so I'm sure that Ed would find another hobby in the absence of alchemy and could turn it into a gig if necessary, if he really doesn't like automail. He has a lot of skills that he could potentially turn towards an income. I've also generally assumed that Ed made a pretty decent amount of money as a State Alchemist and still has some generous savings on that front.

But I was also thinking that it would be kind of funny if being a State Alchemist came with incredible retirement benefits. Like, the military wants to lure people in with wealth and power and resources - and then make alchemists desperate enough to keep these things that they become walking weapons of war, commit horrible crimes against humanity in the name of "research", and/or resort to human transmutation and become viable sacrifices. Ed never had to worry about getting kicked out (and presumably losing his benefits) because he was a perfect human sacrifice from the get-go (although he didn't know this). I'm guessing a lot of State Alchemists were never actually able to retire between dying in wars, failing out of the program (the brass finding excuses to save money! Bosses are always cheap!), getting arrested for speaking out or actually getting caught publicly doing bad shit, and being murdered for their crimes against humanity.

But, in theory, maybe the State Alchemist retirement benefits were absolutely incredible if you could somehow survive long enough or get permission for an early, "honorable" retirement, because King Bradley (who let's say set up this financial bait) somewhat reasonably assumed that Father would completely destroy the country before he'd ever have to pay out a pension. Which means that Ed could be out of the military for years and somehow still costing Roy Mustang a lot of money.

[cocoa-rococo]

Koopaling Headcanons: Larry

Larry | Morton | Wendy | Iggy | Roy | Lemmy | Ludwig

Everyone's favorite little brother and general pest for plumbers! He's just a lil' rascal.

Right handed.

His love of tennis originally started as a way to stand out from his siblings, but eventually, he really enjoyed the sensation of playing.

He became a big fan of a Horse Girl animated show after the Olympics, but is super embarrassed about it and won't tell anyone because he thinks it wrecks his ‘cool guy’ image.

Red-green colorblind.

He likes painting with Bowser Jr, and he's a decent comic artist, but he's pretty shy about showing people his work, partially stemming from feeling inferior to Ludwig.

Hypoglycemic. Combine that with his age and his tennis hobby, this boy burns through glucose like a powder trail. It's also partially why he eats so much.

Very much a visual learner, as he tunes out if people tell him things without example, and gets frustrated if asked to try and do something on his own / with his hands and zero instruction.

A frighteningly good pickpocket. He once had a conversation with Bowser and managed to take off all five of his spiked cuffs in three minutes. It's only when he returned them did Bowser even realize they were gone.

He's a big fan of milkshakes, especially chocolate ones. Also a big fan of blowing his straw wrapper at his siblings before he drinks, and blowing bubbles in his drink if he's thinking.

Favorite breakfast food is waffles, with butter, syrup, chocolate chips, and fruit.

Can beatbox almost anything, and he's learning how to breakdance, too. He likes looking up tutorials and practicing in his room for both the space and privacy.

He does gaming streams in his free time, mostly online team-based games or RPGs that let you sink hours of play into useless but fulfilling sidequests. Gaming companies love him because they’ll get guaranteed sales if they offer a trial.

Has a pretty good head for directions, but only for cities. If you tell him you need to find a building from a particular place, he'll give you precise instructions on where to go. Highways and roadmaps are a completely different story.

That said, he got lost so often as a kid that Ludwig gifted him a compass, and he carries it with him constantly.

Not really a flower person, but ever since he got an anonymous bouquet of them, he's got a small appreciation for forget-me-nots.

He's a big fan of punk rock bands, and would love to attend a concert (and be a professional rockstar).

Favorite fruit is either strawberries or pears, but one of his favorite treats is caramel apples.

He’s got a leather jacket that's got a big star bedazzled on the back. It’s his prized possession because he thinks it makes him look cool (and it does, marginally).

Saw a flyer for a new DJ at the Electrodrome and applied on a whim. He got hired (much to his surprise), and greatly enjoys his work. In fact, his time learning the electronics is what inspired his light company.

Likes watching baking and cooking shows with Morton, but while Morton watches to improve and get ideas for recipes, Larry watches to yell at the contestants, because what the FUCK, Michael!!!!! Don’t put your custard on a high temperature, it!!! Is going!!!!!! To curdle!!!!!!!!!!!!

Legitimately has a very good palate for food, and can point out individual flavors where others can't. He will also visit a five-star restaurant and order chicken tenders off the kids menu.

One of his favorite things to do when he was a kid was hiding around the castle and pretending he was a spy; listening in on conversations and writing them down, coming up with codes, always carrying a walkie-talkie, the works. It started his earlier pictographic babble, and what lead him to being such a sneakster later on.

Can and will cheat outrageously at any card, board, dice, or wheel game. Not at video games, though. Those are sacred. That and laser tag.

Looooves chocolate, especially fudge. Do not let him get anywhere near fudge.

He was a shark kid growing up. He dreamed of visiting the aquarium for his birthday, and when he finally got to do so, came home with an armload of various shark plushies and memorabilia.

A big fan of giving and receiving nicknames. Bowser once called him ‘blueberry’ and he cried about it for like seven minutes.

He’s got an admiration for Princess Daisy, for both her fearless attitude and tennis skills.

Favorite candy is gummy worms, but is really fond of sour stuff, too, along with super sugary energy drinks.

Loves sci-fi books / comics and mecha anime with Iggy, but personally loves the adventure genre with pirates and treasure hunters and wild westerns.

Has a private stash of snacks he keeps hidden in rotation for both late night munchies and keeping away from his siblings.

Genuinely likes cooking, but baking feels too precise for him. That said, he's more then happy to taste the end results of both.

Likes going skating with Wendy and Lemmy. He keeps trying complicated moves and keeps running into the walls.

Runs a recipe blog that doubles as a restaurant critique and rating site. It's gotten surprisingly popular.

[gorogues]

How good are all the rogues cooking on a scale from 1-10 (head cannon question)

Len: 7. He absolutely knows how to cook because he had to care for himself and Lisa when they were kids, but it's not something he does much nowadays. These days he's self-sufficient, but never makes anything fancy.

Lisa: 4. It doesn't really interest her, and she always resented her family's idea that girls and women should be cooking. Plus, she typically channels her energies into skating and/or revenge, depending on the phase of her life.

Mick: 8 - it's canon that he's a good or at least a decent cook! And he likes to share his creations with people.

James: 9. I like to think he's an excellent cook. He learned on Italian cuisine, but is damned good at any type of food he turns his mind to.

Digger: 2. His mum tried to teach him when he was young, but he wasn't interested. He still isn't.

Roscoe: 5. He's probably competent though not great at it when he's stable, but that isn't always the case.

Sam: 7. It's not something he brags about, but he's actually quite good at it.

Mark: 4. He thinks he's too cool for it, and also doesn't like doing anything he's not good at.

Hartley: 6. He never had to cook growing up, of course, but once he made a commitment to socialism he was determined to cook for himself. He's not great at it, though.

Evan: 2. He had few opportunities to learn it in childhood, and was a complete mess once he ran away from the orphanage…it was all takeout and canned ravioli for him.

Axel: 1. Nobody bothered to teach him (neglectful parents), and at this stage in life he's far too badass to do boring normie stuff like that. One day, when he's grown and matured, he'll actually be pretty good at cooking and enjoy it.

Owen: 7. He's surprisingly good at it, and totally leans into the skill for dating purposes.

Roy: 5. Competent but not particularly skilled at it, because he's got other priorities in life.

Albert: 8. Cooking is just chemistry, after all!

[dearlexies]

I've been thinking a lot about Jaybart lately, even wrote half of two one-shots that I might post soon, since I'm bored, and have nothing to do, here are some hcs of them that I have and intend to work on some future fanfics:

Sometimes, while the other is sleeping, they lie awake counting the other's breathing just to make sure they are alive. Neither of them knows about it. Bart does this more often, but Jason spends more time awake counting his breaths.

Jason cooks and Bart cleans. Bart can't cook to save his life, but he makes decent coffee.

Bart has freckles all over his body and Jason often compares them to stars, when they are alone he tries to kiss each of his freckles.

Bart's love language is physical touch and words of affirmation, so Jason has always one arm around his shoulders or waist, sometimes he lays his head on Bart's shoulder and when no one is looking he leaves a kiss on his neck or whispers in his ear 'I love you'

Jason's love language is quality time and acts of service. Bart always tries to find a way to go to Jason's apartment and spend some time with him, they talk, watch movies and sometimes just enjoy each other's company. 'I love you' for Jason is not in words, but it is in the little things. In the coffees that Bart makes for him, in the early hours of waking up together, in the silence while Jason cooks and Bart helps him chopping the vegetables.

Bart made (read: forced) Jason to watch all the Star Wars films

Whenever the two watch a film/series, Bart develops a crush on one of the actors and talks about it for weeks and Jason just agrees that most of them are actually hot

Most people don't know that they date. Bart always says he has a boyfriend, but never says his name instead he describes his boyfriend as 'a literature student who loves cooking and Jane Austen and Virginia Woolf books' and he always has fun seeing people's reactions when Jason appears and kisses him.

Roy can't stand being in the same room as them, he always says that they look at each other with puppy ​​eyes or like they're ready to fuck right there

Sometimes Bart wears skirts and dresses, Jason thinks he looks really beautiful wearing it.

Tim was the first to know they were together, he accidentally walked into the kitchen and saw them kissing (his reaction was similar to Ross's in friends but with less screams)

On their first Valentine's Day together, the two forgot it was Valentine's Day and spent the day watching horror movies and eating pizza.

Bart always listens to Tim and Jason's complaints about each other and finds it funny how the two always end up saying "How is he your best friend/boyfriend?”

Bart always pulls Jason's blanket over while sleeps.

Tim constantly walks over while they are almost having sex, most of the time he screams 'my eyes!' and Jason finds something to throw at him.

They are not a clingy couple, no pet names, no matching accessories, not so many pda, except for a few kisses, and a hand on the other's shoulder or waist, and they barely talk about the relationship with others, the reasons many people don't know they are dating is precisely this. They are very private, and none of them are afraid to provoke, disagree or upset the other.

[littlewitchbee]

For the big bang: Favorite Royai headcanon? Silliest one? Most controversial one? Most specific one?

:D

Thank you friend! Hard to think of so many headcanons 🤔

Favorite: I like both of them finding subtle ways to take care of each other throughout the day at work. One brings the other's favorite coffee because they notice they're looking tired, taking care of each other's workload, stuff like that. Nothing's sexier than someone telling me they'll take care of a stressful job for me lol

Silliest: I think Riza takes better care of Roy's car than he does. He bought it to show off and Riza actually cares about the engine and maintaining it and all that. She's not as into it as Winry, of course, but I think there's a part of her that's into mechanics

Most controversial: I agree with @rizaposting that I don't really care for Roy becoming fuhrer. I don't really believe that you can change a system from within it, and making himself the "Good Dictator" doesn't really do it for me. I think he would do most of what he promised to do, but that kind of power is hard to give up (and would Riza stop him? Would he listen? Maybe she'd agree at that point, being so close to the top 🤔) Nobody hold your breath but I'd love to someday write a fic where they don't make it to the top and instead have to find a different way to enact meaningful change

Specific: I like to think Riza isn't a great cook. It's mentioned in one of the games that she learned to cook pretty decently because when they were kids she fucked up a meal for Roy (implied) and made him really sick (get his ass). I like the idea of her cooking being edible to decent, but I think she's very much in the camp of "my body needs nutrients so I will throw these things together and eat them" instead of actually caring about method or taste

These have been really fun ☺️✨ I didn't write for this event, but I'm starting to wish I did lol @limetameta wrote a fic though, and I can't wait for everyone to read it on Oct 3!

[magic-is-beauty]

Sweet tooth head cannons part 2

I'm just going to put part 1 of my headcannons here as well since there might some continuations/more details from part 1

The first five animal army members were in order Bear,Tiger,Rhino,Pony,and Flamingo ; At first they had a blood oath ceremony to induct you into the army but that soon stopped after Flamingo since her finger wouldn't stop bleeding and the rest of animal army did NOT want to go through that disaster again (they all have cool matching scars tho from that).

Flamingo's parents were a chef and baker so she grew up around cooking and baking so when I say she can make good food I mean it ; Her ability to make decently good food from what the army was able to get is astonishing.

Rosie,Ginger,Tex,the wolf boys and ginger's son all stay in Texas for a while to monitor and oversee the farm but they eventually leave to find a place closer to where all the hybrids are and so they can have a place to stay that isn't crawling with bad memories.

The farm is still in Rosie and Ginger's hands but they now look over it from the sidelines trusting the people who are there to keep it in order and up to the new standards they've created.

The animal army get stick and poke tattoos of the animal they were while in the army to commemorate their time in the army ; They're still a army but they retire their old outfits for stuff that's more comfortable and recenter their focus on helping hybrids using other means that are not killing ; Bear gets a bear,Tiger gets a tiger,Rhino gets a rhino,Pony gets a pony,Flamingo gets a flamingo,etc.

Tiger before the crumble had a younger sister that was killed by the sick along with their grandparents who she was close with ; Tiger's father eventually joined the last men but both of her parent's soon were killed because of sick which is when they ran away.

Tiger before the crumble learned sewing and embroidery from their mother and was just starting to learn photography from their grandparents ; Tiger kept the camera from their childhood and started getting back into photography during the animal army days and continued it when living with the hybrids (Bear was one of their favorite things to capture) ; Rhino,Pony,Flamingo and Wendy do like to steal it in order to get photographic evidence of Bear and Tiger acting like a couple (but Bear and Tiger don't entirely know that yet).

Bear didn't sleep much when Tiger was injured like she tried but she eventually gave up and just continued to be by Tiger's side as much as she could.

The hybrids and Wendy could sense that Bear wanted to be by Tiger's side so they mostly found ways to entertain themselves with both Wendy and Jepp offering to take up watching and entertaining the hybrids ; Jepp trusted Becky to look over Gus as well since she was in there but still periodically checked in on them.

Bear,Tiger and the rest of the animal army kept the fallen members memory alive by telling stories to the hybrids about them and created a book that honored not only their memories but also Pubba,Birdie,Aimee,Louisa,Dr Singh,Bruno,Roy and many others lost.

The hybrids for some reason really love hammocks so now they have a shit ton around the place in order to decrease arguments of who gets a hammock ; No one touches the hammock towards the outskirts of the woods tho since that's the one that Bear and Tiger share and is the place they go to when they need a break or just want to be alone.

Rosie after everything chills out finally is able to do her art again and now she gets to share this with her boys who are very eager to enjoy something that makes their mother so happy ; Rosie is a really good painter and loves crafting things with Ginger also loving painting (both did it during their pregnancies to help relax them) ; their home is now covered in both Rosie and Ginger's art but also the boy's art pieces that everyone in the house cherishes.

Ginger's son absolutely loves being the water and gets super smiley and happy when bath time comes around ; Rosie jokes that the only time she ever saw that same exact smile is when her boys are running around.

After finally being away from her mother Rosie and her boys can finally grieve the death of Bruno and remember his memory while also grieving the childhood she wished her boys should of had with her making sure that her boys live a safe and happy childhood that she wished Bruno was also allowed to have.

Parenting at first comes not so easily to Rosie,Ginger and Tex but they eventually get the hang of it with the help and advice of Jepp and Becky ; The wolf boys love howling especially when they're happy or excited and it seems like Ginger's child is also quite vocal when it comes to things that make him excited and happy as well with Rosie,Ginger and Tex not minding it at all but instead encouraging it.

Parenting the wolf boys isn't entirely easy since they were taught so much terrible shit that needs to be unlearned but Rosie wouldn't trade it for the world because now she knows that she teaching and parenting them herself instead of somebody else ; It takes time to get them to unlearn the bad habits taught to them but since the boys are still fairly young they respond well and are able to learn and be around their mother who adores them ,their cousin who they love to be around and a whole bunch of others who are not only like them but who are not scared of them and want to be around them.

Rhino,Pony,and Flamingo are now overseeing the new animal army with the help of both Bear and Tiger and visit the cabin fairly often to see their favorite people : the hybrids ; The hybrids do visit the animal army HQ once in while and they always end eating too much sugar,playing games,being spoiled and staying up way too late much to the dismay of Jepp,Bear,and Tiger.

However when Flamingo finds all the homegrown food at the cabin has it's over for everyone with Flamingo at first freaking out since she hasn't had this much to work with in years and then ends up making one of the best dishes anyone has ever had making the hybrids flock to poor Flamingo with food requests ; Flamingo in the span of a few months lovingly makes all the hybrids their food requests because she can't say no to those faces.

Rosie,Ginger,Tex and the boys manage to find a quaint farmhouse about 30 minutes away from the hybrids to settle down in and with the help of Jepp,Tiger and Flamingo manage to start growing their own food but they still spend a decent amount of time hanging out in the woods with everyone not just to socialize the boys but because the boys seem so happy being in an environment surrounded with kids like them and who was Rosie to take away what made her kids so happy.

The hybrids,Jepp,Wendy,Gus,and Bear are all pretty light sleepers with everything that has happened so they usually wake up with any slight noise but then go back to bed if not anything to be worried about. Tiger and the animal army on the other hand sleep like the dead unless they hear a actually concerning sound which is when they really wake up.

The hybrids share tree houses not only because they like sharing a space but it's because in case someone has a nightmare or a bad memory there's always going to be someone in the tree house to help them and be there for them ; Jepp,Becky and Tiger always tell them to come to them when that happens and they do when it's bad or when they want too(Gus goes to Jepp,Wendy goes to Becky,the other hybrids will go switch between Jepp,Becky,and Tiger) but a decent amount of time it can be helped with just being around one another and being reminded that they're alive surrounded by friends and in a safe environment.

A lot of the time the hybrids sleep under the stars being able to see the sky and hear the sounds of the woods around them but they do also sleep in the tree houses (that are equipped with nightlights) since it's their space and they love it.

Bear and Tiger enjoy climbing onto the roof of their tree house and stargazing or just talking or they climb onto their designated tree and sit there enjoying the view or again just talking about anything and everything.

Rosie,Ginger and the boys eventually meet the animal army who immediately love the boys ; Rosie comes with the hybrids when they visit the animal army HQ since the boys still get a little anxious when they're away from their mother and Rosie doesn't think she's ever heard them howl so loudly or seem the light shine so bright in their eyes.

[laminy]

a short Roy/Jamie fic for @mccorky, who wanted Roy showing off his dance moves for Jamie in the kitchen.

Jamie’s taken up more of the cooking, thank god. Roy always ends up staying later now, and he was getting tired of coming home to Jamie sitting on his arse, looking at TikToks, wondering where dinner was. Or worse, eating takeaway that was not meal-plan approved.

When he comes home after training tonight, Roy’s ears are immediately assaulted by— he doesn’t even know what, just loud. “Christ!” he exclaims as he walks into the kitchen. “This might sound half decent if you fucking turned it down.” And now his eyes hurt too. Jamie’s been cutting onions, he can tell.

“What’d you say?” Jamie waits a moment for a response, and then he sticks his tongue out.

“The cheek on you.”

“Right here,” Jamie says, and he turns his arse towards Roy, who rolls his eyes and gives it a light playful swat anyway. “Now give us a kiss.”

“Fucking hell,” Roy says, but he’s not-so-secretly happy to do it. He wraps his arms around Jamie’s waist, and snuggles against his back, kissing his neck. “What are you making?”

“White bean chicken chilli,” Jamie says, snuggling back agains Roy. “Saw it on YouTube. It’s got—” He puts his spoon down and starts counting on his fingers. “Chicken.”

“And white beans?”

“Shut up.” It rolls casually off Jamie’s tongue, no heat behind it, and he continues. “Onion, jalapeño, corn, and avocado.” He turns around in Roy’s arms, so they can actually get a good look at each other, and he bats his eyes. “Sound alright?”

“Sounds fucking delicious.” Roy gives him an actual kiss, and Jamie practically melts against him. “I missed you,” he murmurs.

“I saw you two hours ago,” Jamie says, kissing him again. 

Roy pulls back. “And?”

Jamie smiles. “I missed you too.” Then he steps out of Roy’s arms and turns his music back up. “Now fuck off, old man, I’m busy.”

“Nice welcome home,” Roy says. It’s really not so bad, since he can take a step back and watch Jamie’s hips sway to the rhythm of the song. Even if it is still way too loud, it’s a pretty sight. 

Roy grabs a beer from the refrigerator, and drops down at the kitchen table. He takes a drink, and settles back in his chair. “You looked good out there today.”

Jamie glances over his shoulder and winks. “Yeah, I know. You too, Coach.”

“Hmm.” Roy takes another drink, and chuckles as he watches Jamie start tapping his feet to the music, like he’s trying out some fancy footwork. “You going on Strictly?”

“I’d fucking win it too,” Jamie says, and he does a dramatic spin before settling back in at the stove, his feet still moving. “If you distract me, dinner’s gonna be late.”

“You’re the one distracting me,” Roy says. “What are these moves?”

“Uh, I’m an amazing dancer,” Jamie says. “You’ve seen me. Remember NSYNC?”

“How could I forget,” Roy says. He keeps watching Jamie’s feet, and he laughs.

“Fuck off,” Jamie says. “It’s not like you’re any better.”

“Fuck off, I am,” Roy says.

“I’ve never seen you dance,” Jamie says. Roy doesn’t say anything, so Jamie turns around. “Have I?” Roy shrugs, amused, and Jamie’s eyes widen. “Royth. Why haven’t I seen you dance?”

“Because I don’t like to show off.”

“You fucking love it, egotistical prick,” Jamie says.

Roy gestures towards himself with his beer bottle. “You’re talking to me?”

“Course I am,” Jamie says. “You’re saying you’ve got secret moves?”

“I am.”

“Let’s see ‘em.”

“Not so secret then.”

“I’ll give you a handjob later in the bath.”

“You were gonna do that anyway.”

Jamie sighs. “Please, Roy?” he asks, voice all quiet and soft and goddammit he’s playing Roy like a fiddle but it’s working. “It’d mean an awful lot.”

“Oh fuck off,” Roy says, and he pushes his chair back with a loud scrape. “At least turn the music down a fucking little, please. I can’t think.”

“Okay,” Jamie says eagerly, and he turns it down. He also checks on the chilli, then takes off his apron. “Let’s see then.” He takes Roy’s hand, and looks down in shock when Roy puts his other hand on Jamie’s waist. “Uh—”

“I’m leading, you twat,” Roy says.

“Whatever.”

“What are we even listening to?” 

“Aaron Burr.”

“The vice-president?”

“Yeah.”

“Fucking hell.” Roy squeezes Jamie’s hand, and smoothly begins, stepping to the left, then back. He really gets into with it a rock step, and then he’s off, with Jamie stumbling to keep up.

“What the fuck is this, Roy,” Jamie says. 

“The cha-cha.”

“When the fuck did you learn the cha-cha?” Jamie keeps looking down at their feet, in confusion or awe or maybe both.

“Twenty years ago,” Roy says. “Needed help with my footwork.” He does a spot turn, leaving Jamie staring at him. “Thought you could dance.”

Jamie rolls his eyes. “Not like this. Shit, Roy.” He starts trying to mimic Roy’s footwork, matching some steps but missing others. He laughs in delight and surprise, and Roy smiles back. Nice to know he’s still got it. “You have to show me.”

“You need to finish the chilli.”

Jamie rolls his eyes. “We can get takeaway.”

“No, we fucking can’t.”

“Fine.” Jamie glances back at the stove. “I’ll finish it. But do another turn for me?” 

Roy does just that, and Jamie’s on him in a second, arms around his neck.

“That was fucking hot, Roy.”

Roy gives him a quick kiss. “Chilli.”

“No fun.”

“Naked cha-cha later?”

Jamie light ups. “Very fun. Deal.”

“Deal.”

[ndrmda]

i’m gonna preface this by saying my brain’s fuckin cooked, like on chronic levels, so in case you notice grammar errors and shit along the way, please know that it’s because of that ( and my lack of respect for the english language ). ANW, hello, loves! i’m milk ( 23, any ). i was supposed to be in the opening with yall but i scrapped my baby sejun ( bxf1 ) at the last minute bc i felt like i wouldn’t be able to do him justice soz ( idk jack shit about tennis ok ). but ig thank god he rip-ed bc then u wouldn’t meet my girlfailure gal JIHYE if he stayed, amirite? 😏 below the cut are well, stuff. tidbits. like!! because you like me ofc & my d*sc*rd is totally available upon req if any of you want to concoct delicious plans over there.

background & personality ( here for the in-depth, sorta decently written, not stroke inducing thing ) ( tw for domestic violence )

basics : 2019 queen ( kxe1 ), daughter of seoul’s commissioner general and a well-known lawyer, the people’s princess

inspired by a lot of things but i would say off the top of my head, she’s like if alicent hightower, sansa stark, cassie howard, amy dunne’s husband issues, shiv roy’s parental AND HUSBAND issues, charli xcx’s brat, & sofia coppola’s filmography are all rolled into one, tied with a miu miu ribbon

your typical rich girl blah blah blah princess syndrome…. oblivious to the plight of the poor….. lives off of daddy’s money…… YOU KNOW IT

she’s def smarter than she lets on but her interests don’t dabble in what most people deem intellectual, so she just lets them think what they want to think bc honestly who gaf

when a girlboss marries a pig of a man, you get one traumatized brat. that’s just the formula

a daughter typically looks up to her mother but not when her mother allows herself to be submitted to the violent whims of her husband. bonus points for irony if her mother is a womens rights lawyer

and don’t get her started with her father. she feels nothing for him but ONLY fear. worst man on earth i hope he d words

jihye is outwardly sweet. well yes, she’s self-absorbed at times and maybe bitchy but not always on purpose. overall she’s an angel. which is to say she’s used to getting whatever she wants because people simply like her yk who could say no to that gorgeous face? ( actively weaponized pretty privilege iktr )

but then that’s the problem because it’s so easy for her to get away with anything & everything dun dun dun dun

underneath the nice girl facade tho is her deep-seated resentment and an unquenchable thirst to be loved that stemmed from her abusive home, which she would carry up to her dysfunctional married life…… girlie just can’t catch a break i fear

really just wanted a happy ever after that doesn’t involve being treated like a subhuman

but oh well she should be thankful for the social security right? ( lights a cigarette )

fast forward to 2024….. ultimately, she is her mother’s child through and through. there is a quote by oscar wilde that pretty much sums up how jihye’s life came to be and it goes: “all women become their mothers. that is their tragedy.” ( sighs and smokes )

met her husband through a betrothal set up by her father and while at the start it was okay ig bc what choice did she have, it started going downhill as he got promoted in the office. he’s different from her father in some ways, but he’s still a shit husband, equally dismissive and emotionally abusive if not more ( smokes up to the filter )

she’s divorcing him now btw so yay good for her honestly ( and is currently setting her eyes on a prize she thinks she solely deserves 👀 )

plots & connections

while i’d like to say i just wanted to keep this intro short and sweet, i’m gonna be honest with you all and hold your hands as i confess that i have no plots planned whatsoever prior to this post, aside from what’s stated in the canon ( and some things plotted with the lovely muns who have approached me so far ). that said, my scatterbrained brain works when it’s stimulated so i’d rather we brainstorm than list the cliche things i can whip up by myself bc trust me, they’re terrible. also, i think that way, we can tailor-fit plots to our desires, yeah? i’m a mess & i’m just babbling at this point but everyone has been nothing but warm and welcoming, so i love yall! i cant wait to plot with each & everyone of you!!!

[mayisgoingnuts]

May give me a silly polyhatz + Susie headcannon please something very not fun happened

NEEDED COMFORT I'M HERE TO HELP + I REALLY HOPE YOU GET BETTER SOON :( /gen

POLYGROUP (Roy + Ross + Robert + Susie) HEADCANONS

— The boys are basically her protector even though she doesn't need it, you deal with her and suddenly there's a whole gang behind you

— Susie is the only one between them who's able to cook/bake decently, she always make some sweets for them

— She tried to teach them once, but BOY IT WAS A FAILURE.

— Robert is the only one who gives silly nicknames for the others

— "This is my boyfriend, this is my boyfriend's boyfriend and my boyfriend's boyfriend's boyfriend. And I date all of them."

— Susie leaves Roy without kisses and such whenever she catches him bullying Pump

— Whenever Ross goes non-verbal for no reason he likes to watch the others interacting with a smile

— On their birthdays Roy always suddenly appears with the most fucking expensive gift he could find LMAO /hj

— "T-THOSE DRAWING MATERIALS... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THEY COST?!"

"YOU'RE WELCOME BECAUSE YOURS SUCK."

— Ross, Robert and Susie, the only ones who can make Roy shut the fuck up hehehehe

— Robert loves to cuddle with them and is always the big spoon

— (Tickle headcanon jumpscare) All the 4 already went through gang tickles between themselves and Roy is the only one who they just CAN'T repeat it anymore 😭🙏🙏

— And it's not even because he got uncomfy or something it's because HIS DRAMATIC ASS CAN'T STAY STILL FKWHDJEK (Robert got kicked in the nose)

— The pain that is to explain their relationship. God.

— Susie and Robert tries, Ross explains only if it's a friend and Roy just goes "I have 3 bitches so what" (but then corrects seriously and just says that it's not their business)

— If there's 4 people in Susie's chat 3 of them are the Hatzgang (Roy already got banned once)

— The boys STILL gets quite shy with Susie sometimes because MOTHERFUCKER SIMPSSSSSSSS

[thetarttfuldickhead]

It’s two days before Jamie leaves for the World Cup and Roy’s making him lunch after a fairly relaxed morning workout session. As he cooks, he listens with half an ear to Jamie’s happy chatter about his upcoming trip, about the camp, the other lads, and did Roy see the home kit, it’s good, yeah? For all that Roy doesn’t offer more than grunts in response, he can’t help but feel Jamie’s excitement wrap around him, contagious, and leaving him feeling fond, proud, and envious in equal measure.

“And they’re letting us have a day off to have family come visit us, you know,” Jamie says. “Guess it’s to keep everyone from getting homesick. It’s nice, innit?”

Roy hums non-comittedly. Maybe it is nice. The sort of thing Lasso would have loved, that’s for sure.

“Mum’s coming, and Simon. Maybe Keeley too, if she can get away. Might not, though, they’re getting dead busy, her and Barbara.”

Oh. “Keeley’s family?” Roy asks, and he tries very hard to sound neutral about it. Nonchalant; a little teasing, even. After Brazil, Jamie had been careful to let slip – every bit as casual as Roy is striving to be right now – that nothing had happened between him and Keeley there, but even so…

He dares a glance in Jamie’s direction, and sees him pulling at his sleeves, distinctly not looking back at Roy. “Well, I mean, no. Guess not. But they said we could invite friends, too, if we wanted. Not like, all of them, ‘course, but one or two close ones maybe.”

Huh. Roy’s instinct is to scoff because why would you need friends from home come and distract you when you’ve got a cup to win, but he holds back. Trying not to be so stuck in his old ways, and all that.

“So—“ Jamie takes a deep breath and then looks up at him, smirk suddenly in place and with his eyebrows raised. “You coming to see me, Coach?”

And Roy blinks. “You want me to come visit you at camp?” he demands after a moment of stunned silence. “In Australia? On fucking family day?” If he sounds incredulous, it’s less because he’s surprised at Jamie having the audacity to ask, and more because Jamie would even want to.

Then again, Jamie had asked him to come to Brazil, too. Roy had told him no, too proud to accept what he worried was a pity ask, and had spent every day of the week Jamie and Keeley were away regretting it.

Jamie shrugs, seemingly unruffled. “I mean, yeah.”

That’s all he says. As if it’s reasonable. As if it’s simple. But Roy knows him well by now, and he can tell from the slight jitter of Jamie’s left foot that the other man isn’t nearly as  blasé about this as he would like to pretend.

Turning back to his frying pan in a bid to win some time and get a grip on his swiftly rising and conflicting emotions, Roy mutters, “Doubt Southgate would appreciate you bringing in a private coach.” Gareth was, judging both by rumours and by Roy’s own recollection of their short time playing together, reasonably relaxed, but there were limits.

Jamie snorts. “Not asking you to come as me coach, am I?”

Roy is aware. That’s what makes this complicated. He knows how to be Jamie’s coach; he’s still not entirely sure how to be Jamie’s friend, even as he has surrendered to the fact that this is what he is now.

He knows that he’d like to be better at it, though. Admits, privately and somewhat ruefully, that he is pleased to have been asked.

“I’ll fucking think about it,” he says, and pretends he can’t hear the smug triumph in Jamie’s answering yeah, ‘course, decent.

Busies himself with plating the omelette so that he can pretend that he hasn’t already made up his mind.

[sparkchemy]

I was tagged by @rangerzath

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Irl my parents named me after a saint, I think.

The origin of my current username is a play on two words, Spark and Alchemy, referencing my 2 obsessions at the time of its creation. FMA, specifically Roy Mustang the Flame Alchemist, and.. Transformers. Both have had a huge influence on me, I just never post about the latter here.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Sometime this year.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Nope and I don't plan on having any.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

Sports? Do video games count? No?

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Do I seem like someone who uses sarcasm? :)

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

How they treat other people. Sometimes it's as simple as will they move out of the way to let another person pass.

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?

Greyish.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

Both. Both is good, especially together.

ANY TALENTS?

*deep breath* There's no such thing as talent, you can be good at anything with enough dedication and hard work. Stop me before I go on a rant.

One thing I'm reasonably decent at is art, I guess. I'm also pretty good at spitting out ideas that I never follow through on.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Soviet Russia actually. Our country was still a part of USSR when I was born.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

Drawing, fandom stuff, watching video game lets plays. Sometimes I dabble in cooking or growing plants.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

Yes, a cat <3

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

Taller than average.

FAVOURITE SUBJECT?

Like school subject? That was a long time ago.. xD I think I liked algebra best. Tiny fun puzzles to solve. I also liked history.

DREAM JOB?

Anything that doesn't involve other people. I would be happy sorting envelopes all day if it paid well enough.

I'll tag @okay-sky @lilasboudoir @somali77

[poke-me-with-a-stick]

Chapter 19 of 'Artifical Wingman'!

For the full story, click here!

Enjoy!

---

Jason awoke the next morning to rare rays of actual sunlight peeking through the eternal smog of Gotham's sky's. Stretching, he groaned a bit as his sore muscles twinged, his hand briefly coming up to rub the sleep from his eyes. For a moment, he debated rolling over and going back to sleep, his bed almost too comfortable to leave. But then the events from the day prior were still prominent in his thoughts. Sighing, he pushed himself up, knowing that he couldn't pass back out when there were things that he needed to do today.

He stumbled his way to the door, flinging it open with a hot shower forefront on his mind. Only to pause as the smell and sound of fresh bacon hit him. The man froze, his body becoming taut with tension as he tried to remember if he had invited someone over. It obviously wasn't Damian, as Lover boy probably hadn't left his boyfriend's side. And he seriously doubted it was Roy, the man had a habit of bombarding his phone to make sure that he wasn't halfway across Gotham doing something else. It couldn't be Dick, he had no idea how to cook, and Replacement wouldn't bother making something to eat, instead probably firing up the coffee pot while he waited for Jason. Stephanie knew she had a semi-permanent ban since the 'Glitter Incident', where she had decided that his hood and jacket weren't visually pleasing. Duke was a good possibility, but he had school around this time, didn't he?

Jason grabbed one of his pistols as he began to sneak towards the kitchen, ready to beat the pulp out of some sort of mentally deficient robber, because what criminal broke into a random apartment in the middle of Crime Alley to cook a decent breakfast?

Peaking around the corner, he could just catch a flash of short, jet black hair from behind the opened refrigerator door. His foot inched forwards, preparing his body to launch at the stranger, and just happened to push down on one of the old, squeaky floorboards.

The person ducked into his fridge stood up abruptly, spinning around to look at him, and Jason found himself lowering his weapon with a sigh of relief. Of course, it was just Cass.

'That's right.' He remembered. 'She showed up last night after Demon brat left.' Tucking the pistol into his waistband, he stood from his fighting stance, letting the tension drop for his shoulders. "Hey, Cass. Forgot you were here."

Cass gave him a slightly amused look as she nodded at him. "Good morning." She greeted, her voice soft and low. The girl glanced down at the eggs in her hand. "I'm making breakfast."

Jason chuckled. "Yeah, I can see that." Leaving her to get back to cooking, he turned and headed back down the hallway. Now that he was sure it was just one of his siblings, his most tolerable sibling at that, he was going to take that hot shower.

About thirty minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, steam trailing around him as he scrubbed at his damp hair with a towel. Walking back to the kitchen, he sat down and looked at the simple breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast that Cass had made and was currently enjoying. His sister looked up from her own plate briefly as he sat, and gestured towards the rest of the food with her free hand. An obvious invitation if Jason had ever seen one. Grabbing his plate, he served himself a decent helping before tucking in himself.

They ate in companionable silence, both deciding to wait until after breakfast to talk. It was obvious that she knew a bit more about the Demon brat situation, considering the fact that she had something of his that he had left behind, and that she had brought it here to Jason instead of taking it to the cave, like Dick or Timmers would have done. But the real question on Jason's mind was what exactly she knew. It wouldn't be so far-fetched to believe that she probably knew more than he did at this point. After all, someone had to have been running interference for Damian to have gone this long without being found.

Swallowing the last bite of his food, Jason stood and carried his plate to the sink, setting it aside for later. He turned and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms as he tried to think of how to start this conversation. 'Well, might as well be blunt about it.'

"So, you know." Cass twister on the stool she was perched on, turning to face him as she finished her breakfast.

"Yeah." She signed. "I know."

"Great." He nodded along. "So, could you tell me what's going on? Because I heard the whole story from two different people, and I still have no idea what is happening."

Cass frowned a bit, her eyebrows scrunching together as she thought about what to tell him. Which was completely understandable, Jason couldn't blame her for being cautious. He would be a bit of a hypocrite if he did.

"Damian is in love." She signed suddenly, a small smile shining through at Jason's sudden snort of laughter. "And from what I've observed, his feelings are reciprocated."

"Yeah, I kinda figured on that one." Jason nodded, pushing off the counter and walking back around the kitchen island. "Andike I said, I've heard most of the story from him already, along with some context from the kid's sister." If Cass was surprised at that little detail, she hid it incredibly well. "What I wanna know is how you got caught up in it. Along with what's in the bag," he pointed to the black duffle sitting on his couch as he spoke. "I really hope you didn't try to copy my duffle bag stint."

His sister's eyes twinkled with amusement as she shook her head. "No heads." Standing, she made her was over to the bag, picking it up off the couch and bringing it back to the kitchen. "I was the first one to find Damian after his sudden disappearance. He was shopping in a more run-down part of Gotham, helping Danny to get some things. I had promised not to tell anyone where he was, and later he called me to find something for him." Pausing in her story, Cass pushed the duffle bag across the marble countertop. Jason tried not to flinch at the sound of glass and metal rattling around as it moved.

Carefully, he pulled the bag towards himself, unzipping it slowly as if it contained a bomb. Knowing this family, that wasn't a far off possibility.

It wasn't a bomb, thankfully. Instead, the man was met with a… gun? Pulling it out of the bag, Jason grimaced at the clean slice through it. Damage clearly made by Damian's favored katana, if he wasn't mistaken. "...what am I looking at?" He asked, taking his eyes off the clunky weapon to raise a questioning brow at his sister.

"I am not sure." She admitted, a small frown marring her face. "Damian told me that it belonged to Danny, and that it could potentially be dangerous." Tugging the bag opened a bit more, she grasped something carefully, pulling it up and out of the bag before settling it on the counter. "There was something else about it though. It is obviously a gun of some kind, but instead of a cartridge it had this." She gestured to the object.

Jason felt the blood drain from his face as he observed the item. There wasn't much to look at per se, just a large glass bottle of some kind, bearing the same katana damage as the rest of the gun. But the sickeningly familiar green substance stuck to the sides of the glass and pooling at the bottom was a bit alarming.

"Is that-" Jason cut himself off, only staring at the congealed liquid, which oddly enough seemed to be glowing now that it was out of the bag. The pit rose up slightly from its usual resting place in his chest, an acidic feeling almost similar to heartburn, at his proximity to the glass. Strangely though, he didn't feel the rage that always seemed to accompany it. Instead there was an intense feeling of… longing? Distantly, he was aware that this was a similar feeling to what he felt the first time he had seen Jasmine, only now it was a lot stronger.

Cass drew his attention back to her by placing her hand over the glass, blocking a bit of his vision of it. The pit rumbled grumpily in him but settled back down now that the green was no longer visible. "Don't worry." She said aloud, giving him a small smile. Seeing him calm down, she switched back to using her hands. "I took a small sample and ran it in the cave. Though it has a similar makeup to the pits, it is not an exact match." She paused, as if considering something. "In fact, it seems to be missing some of the more deadly properties that the pits have. Though it did prove to be radioactive." Jason's sudden alarm must have been visible, because she was quick to add on, "it doesn't seem to be dangerous. At least no more dangerous than a bunch of bananas. Deadly in large amounts, but relatively harmless in small doses."

Jason allowed himself a second to release a relieved breath, silently thanking whatever God was out there that Cass was cautious and aware of things she did. He really didn't want to have some sort of radiation poisoning on top of the pit rage and whatever hellish situations his family managed to drag him into. Wait, speaking of which…

"Hey, Cass? I really need to meet up with the demon brat soon." The girl nodded, her head cocked to the side in a curious manner. "Would you like to come with me?"

Squinting, she thought about it for a moment. "Where?"

"Danny wound up at Harley and Ivy's place last night after the whole Joker fiasco." He began packing up the broken gun as he spoke. "Damian made it there last night, and Danny's sister is there as well. If they haven't left by now, they should still be there."

Cass waited until he had the bag zipped back up to answer him. "Sure. I want to officially meet Danny anyways."

Jason smiled at her. "Great! Just let me get dressed and we'll go."

"Okay," she signed. Suddenly, she got a mischievous smirk on her face. "On the way, you can tell me more about this sister of his." Jason couldn't help the sudden flash of heat in his face, abruptly turning and leaving the room quickly to avoid saying anything. His exit didn't help his case, if Cass's quiet laughs were anything to go by.

—

Damian awoke slowly, the peaceful haze of sleep gently rising as he blinked in the rare morning light that shone through the window. Against his chest a slightly cool body pressed tightly into him, almost as if searching for heat.

Damian sighed happily as his beloved cuddled closer, tilting his head down so that when his tired eyes slid open, letting his gaze slide over Danny's sleeping form. His face was calm and relaxed, soft snores falling from him as he slept and small pool of drool leaked from the boy's gaped mouth, leaving a wet spot on his Robin uniform. An action that he should have found distasteful, but he instead found himself smiling fondly at. For a moment, he allowed himself to be glad that none of his siblings were here to see this, fully aware that they would never let him live it down. After all, there was a file in Oracle's computer labeled 'Blackmail' for a reason.

His gazing was rudely interrupted not long after he woke up, much to his displeasure, by an infamous blond loudly announcing herself as she strutted into the living room. "Good mornin'~" she called, the loud noise rousing Danny. "Rise n' shine! We've got breakfast!"

The teen curled further into his chest, but turned his head towards the woman. "Food?" He rasped, blinking open cloudy blue eyes. Damian frowned at the dazed look, wondering how much longer his drugged state would last.

"Yep! Bacon and pancakes for tha kiddie, and bagels and fruit salad for tha birdie!" She set the plates down on the table in front of them, wisely keeping her distance as much as she could. 'At least she knew how to acknowledge a threat.' Damian's death glare could have also had a hand in her decision, but that was neither here nor there. "Wasn't sure what whatcha wanted to drink, so I got Danny some milk, an' Ivy is makin' some tea right now." Without waiting for a reply from either of them, she skipped back the way she had come, presumably the kitchen.

Damian waited for a few minutes after she left before he reluctantly sat up, pulling a dazed Danny up with him. The teen whined as he was shifted, mumbling something intelligible as he leaned back against the couch upright.

Leaning forwards, Damian grabbed both of their plates and brought them closer, putting a fork in Danny's limp hand. As if on autopilot, Danny immediately lifted the fork to his mouth, making a confused little "mhr-up" sound when he was met with nothing but metal. Damian watched in amusement as the teen pulled the fork out of his mouth to glare at the noticeably bent utensil.

When it became obvious that the teen wasn't going to do more than glare at the fork, Damian sighed. Carefully, he took the fork from the halfa's grasp, stabbing a bite of his food, and returning it to the teen's hand. Again, he brought the fork up to his mouth, this time making a happy sound as he tasted the sweet syrup-covered quick bread. The bite of food seemed to bring him a bit more awareness than before, as his next portion of food he retrieved himself. Satisfied that his beloved could feed himself, Damian applied himself to his own breakfast. By the time Harley returned with his tea, both teens were finishing their plates off.

"Here ya go! Damn, you boys must've been hungry, huh? I'll let Ives know that her cookin' was appreciated." Handing Damian his mug, she ruffled Danny's already sleep-messy hair as she walked by him, electing a half-hearted grumble of complaint at the action.

Damian expected her to leave the room again, head back to wherever Ivy was currently, but instead she shuffled her way over to a worn armchair and sat down with a huff. Kicking her feet up on the table, the woman stretched and wiggled, settling more comfortably into her seat, before grabbing the TV remote.

The three of them sat in a semi-uncomfortable silence for a while, the only sound in the room being the low hum of chatter from some news station, and Danny's odd little half-purrs, half-snores, as he began to nod off again. Damian was part-way to joining him when Harley spoke up. "So, what's up with you two?"

"I fail to see how our relationship is any of your business," he snapped back almost immediately, feeling oddly defensive. 'Strange,' he mused to himself. 'Maybe this is one of the side effects of the potion?' He didn't have much of an opportunity to analyze his reaction more before Harley replied to his snappish deflection.

"That excuse went out tha window tha moment you came rolling in." The woman snorted, moving her feet back down to the floor as she leaned closer. "So, tell me. I want all tha deets." Her eyes held a familiar hunger in their light blue depths.

It took all of Damian's self control not to groan aloud. "I see. You are here for the 'gossip', then?" It seems that hanging around Brown had some merit after all. "You want the 'tea' on me and Danny?" Hopefully neither Brown nor Cain would ever hear the slang he used. It was bad enough that he knew what it meant to begin with.

Harley snorted at his phrasing, but nodded vigorously. "Spill! A girl's gotta know!" As if to emphasize her excitement, she leaned forwards over her knees, scooting to the edge of the chair's cushion in an attempt to be as close as possible.

Damian rolled his eyes, but ultimately caved in. Just because he knew he could ignore the woman, doesn't mean that it wouldn’t be annoying to do so. Sometimes it was easier to negotiate than to deny. A lesson he had learned very well by now, having dealt with the Batgirls. "What do you want to know?" He asked reluctantly.

"Well, preferably everything! But…" She tapped her nail to her chin in a faux thoughtful way before snapping her fingers and pointing at him. "How about how you two love birds met!"

Sighing, Damian settled more comfortably into his seat, relaxing as Danny slid down to lean on his shoulder. "Well, we met at the park just outside of Crime Alley…"

---

(I know that there are probably some spellimg/grammar mistakes, but it's okay because I tried my best!)

For the amazing person who made the prompt for this story, as well as the lovely people following along!

@halfblackwolfdemon @manapeer @xxwintrynightzxx @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 @blu-lilac @academicpurposes @secretdestinywerewolf @passivedecept @naluforever3 @postit-nope @spiteismymiddlename @2t-productions @plague-daisy @feet-achy @bubblecookies16 @thesapphiredragon13 @justwannabecat @magicalcollecter @adeniumdream @amuseofminds @lupagrim @readerkayden @dr-syko-pharm-4 @ladythugs @angelheartgamer @markthespot68 @kyrianclawraith @michikoy-yuki @servasvictoria02 @your-emo-nightmare @vala-dreams @scarlett-green-rose @t1dwarrior-of-earth @charlie-the-frogie @akikoyuii @mysticalcomputerdetective @roseuniverse999 @im-totally-not-an-alien @thefearfullone @weird-droplet-309 @jaytriesstuff @raventao @jacquelynwinchester @dragongoblet @tlise21 @longlivethefallen @the-archer-goddess @temple-of-jalebi @adepresseddwightsblogofjunk @plainly-colorful @the-legalHe-shipper @49saltpeppershakers @igotafewbadideas @tumbling-darkling @sparklygardenbouquet @sarcastic-yami @blueneko9314 @starscreamlover @liedboutmurder @do3y @roze-realm @some-mildly-happy-human @yinari-uchiha @azuera @chaoticmistake @altairsarts @kawaiikenna @heartsong18 @thetoyboxs @tricksovertreats @mnemovoid @lim4b3ans @horribly-lost-and-gay @keimiwolf @dryeraseslime @joey394

[cocoa-rococo]

Koopaling Headcanons: Morton

Larry | Morton | Wendy | Iggy | Roy | Lemmy | Ludwig

The gentle giant who's solid as stone, and the main enforcer of Bowser's army! A wonderful lad, he is.

Right-handed.

Fond of scrapbooking! He has a few about his siblings and growing up together, but also keeps some about his interests. Wendy likes to gift him cute papers and pattern clippers, and Lemmy finds him cool stickers.

Likes watching wrestling with Roy, which often becomes wrestling with Roy.

He likes watching cooking shows for recipes ideas with Larry, and listening to him ramble about how people are doing things incorrectly.

Has a fairly good memory, and is the most likely to not get distracted on a mission, a trait Ludwig is incredibly grateful for.

Favorite season is winter, due to the novelty (but he can't stay in the snow for too long). Summer is a close second.

A pretty decent writer. His prose is fantastic; it's speaking aloud that he had trouble with.

Surprisingly good at healing magic, possibly more so than Ludwig or even Kamek.

He got gifted a camera from Iggy when he was ten, and he's been taking good care of it ever since. He uses it for scrapbooking, mostly, but he likes taking pictures of what surrounds him.

Very fond of yarrow flowers, due to the colors and how so few of them grow in the Darklands. He first discovered them when he was stationed on a mountain fortress waiting for Mario, and picked a whole bunch to keep inside.

Favorite candies are butterscotch and caramel chews, as well as crunchy rock-candy.

While his favorite pastries are donuts, Wendy once gave him a slice of her patisserie’s strawberry shortcake to try, and he’s been hooked on the flavor even since.

Prefers keeping his notes on pen and paper rather than a phone. He likes the feeling of writing.

Favorite fruit is raspberries and oranges.

Allergic to peanuts, but he prefers Nutella anyway.

His skin is actually much thicker than his siblings to help resist temperature extremities, and since he likes to burrow in sand a lot, it sometimes can get cracked and dry. He and Wendy like to get treatments and make a day of it together.

One of his favorite things is just sitting with his siblings and seeing what they're doing. He's happy to help with whatever they're involved in.

The physically strongest koopaling out of the seven. He's sometimes not quite aware of his strength, but he's trying to get better at it.

Has a soft spot for cute, fluffy animals. Probably aware of Larry's love for a ‘girly’ pony show, but doesn't mind.

Likes listening to Ludwig go on about his mystery novels, and helps as a sound-board for when he needs to bounce theories off someone.

He keeps a miniature zen-garden in his room, and likes to spend time raking little patterns in the sand and moving the rocks around.

The first of his siblings to figure out how to transform his wand into another weapon.

Magic is a weird case with him; trying to cast was difficult, even if the effect was fine. When he learned how to wield his hammer, however, it felt much more intuitive.

Really good with kids, even if he doesn't see a lot of them. He was the most excited out of all his siblings for when Junior was born.

Easily the best secret keeper out of the seven. That koopaling is a VAULT.

Has a fondness for birds, especially ducks. He once got to go to a farm with little ducklings and hold them, and he was crying happy tears almost the entire time.

Coincidentally, he's got an amazing rubber ducky collection. It's very cute, and touching it without his permission will very likely kill you.

Is a big fan of sculpture work, and sometimes will make little trinkets and carvings from chunks of rock he finds. His love of making things is also what convinced him to create Morton's Construction, when his siblings were making businesses.

Wendy is on a persistent quest to make him an Instagram for his scrapbooks and carving work. Morton is on a persistent quest to remember to use it, but always gets distracted.

One of the best taiko drummers —and kumi-daiko performers — this side of the Darklands. He practices with the Hammer Bros.

Can and will stop everything and anything he's doing to make sure an animal crosses the street safely.

Has an almost mom-level accuracy for knowing where lost things are. Any time his siblings can't find something, they go to him, and ninety percent of the time, his guesses are right.

Loves giving hugs! Does not love how he sometimes hugs a little too hard and people get squished.

He likes experimenting in the kitchen with Larry, offering spice suggestions and combos, even if he turns the heat on way too high.

[miraculousmitzi]

OK, so it's been a while since I did any Hetalia ideas/headcanons. Watching Celebrity SAS has given me the idea to imagine what I think the UK bros and Ireland would be like if they had to compete!

P.S. This is also on my X- @miraculousmitzi.

A thread 👇

England:

- Fairly decent contestant. May display some slight hesitation, particularly at the start, in some tasks, but it is strategic and methodical.

- Has a 'get on with it' attitude in general.

-Is made the 'leader'.

-Absolutely detests being shouted at and bossed about.

NI:

-Crying, throwing up, ready to quit.

-Gets shouted at a lot, and can't help but take it personally, especially for fidgeting.

-A lot of hesitation and second guessing in tasks.

-Complains about the food, the weather, etc.

- Helps with the cleaning and dishes.

ROI:

-Like NI, he'd definitely cry and panic over tasks. Particularly at the start. But once he's locked in, he's a strong competitor.

-Is a public favourite.

-His energy is infectious, and the other teammates love him.

-Helps with cooking and the chickens.

-Will scream.

Scotland:

-A total mad lad. No hesitation, dives right into tasks, and passes each and every one.

-Would win the show.

- Pragmatic, thorough, and an eye for detail. A strong contestant alongside England.

-Secretly the favourite.

- In charge of cooking.

-Like a dad to others.

Wales:

-Absolutely petrified. Would definitely shed some tears over some tasks, and when screamed at.

- Very supportive of his team, almost like a mother figure.

-Would definitely throw up with nerves.

- In charge of the chickens and helps with cleaning.